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Author Topic: 'Hold Your Breath' 1/1 PG DARKFURY  (Read 8827 times)
auspicious
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Posts: 398



« on: October 18, 2004, 04:48:24 PM »

Title - 'Hold Your Breath'
Author - Auspicious
Rated - PG
Summary - a moment in time from DF
Disclaimer - i no own DF or charries from PB and DF, this just be a creative pleasure pursuit...
Archive - RGFC only
Feedback - is appreciated
Notes - beta'd by the lovely shalimar, who kindly helped out a pleb  Tongue thank you!


Riddick stood, a cutter burning in his hands. Jack was mystified by his laconic attitude.

"No offense, but I don’t think that’s gonna ‘cut it’ against whatever it is that’s coming for us."

Of course, he didn’t acknowledge her in any way. She recognized the brooding set of his shoulders, noticed he was tuning up so he could take control of the situation. Before she could ask any questions, his dark graveled voice vibrated through the skiff.


"Hold your breath."


Jack obeyed instantly. She sucked deeply at the thin recycled air in the skiff before a bank of thick, wet pressure consumed her. Her eyes scrunched closed in an automatic defense against the stinging substance. A coil of fear tightened her intestines. Being smothered was one of her deepest, most macabre demons. She fought blindly against the pressure as she felt her body rise, weightlessness and panic contorting her mind. The ocean that surrounded her pushed at her frail body. One thought flashed through her mind, rendering logic useless.

'I’m gonna drown in a ship.'

She desperately wanted to scream. But to scream, she'd have to breathe. And there was no breathing to be had. Her limbs twitched to life and begun to flail against the wetness, searching desperately for purchase. Her torso spun around, twisting and writhing in the blanket of toxin that surrounded her. Her senses were entombed with her. All she could hear was the sickening, crazy thumping of her own pulse. Everything else screamed like white noise.

Jack balled her fists in her helplessness. She struck out at the foam, trying to render some damage. A flash of deep vermilion cascaded behind her closed eyes as she felt skin being grazed from her knuckles. Inwardly she cursed. She spun away from the pain, trying to escape, trying to ignore her lungs incessant cry for relief.

Her fingers clawed through the nightmare and found resistance. A muffled grunt floated through to her hearing as her questing fingers raked bare skin.

Suddenly, she was pulled forwards, large hands manacling her wrists. Even blind and smothered, she knew who it was. She rotated her wrists so her hands could grasp his forearms, her fingers mutely communicating her fear. She felt his grip loosen, and his hands slide from her wrists. His fingers entwined themselves with hers. Jack’s panic stilled as she felt his reassuring squeeze. It was okay. Riddick would take care of it.

Her lungs constricted again in their demand for air. She felt Riddick’s grasp leave hers. All she had to do was survive. As hope blossomed within her, she was buffeted forwards by blunt force. The pressure tightened, and incredibly, expanded. Jack fought her way through the thickness.

Each struggle pinched her mind with pain; her muscles were heavy and slow. Her blood pumped thinly though her body as a dull blankness threatened her consciousness. She frantically fought with her limbs, pushing them into response, ignoring the dizzy black spots swimming behind her eyelids.


At last. Air. Jack found the surface and gulped the thin O2.
« Last Edit: April 07, 2007, 06:21:46 AM by auspicious » Logged

HERE THAR BE SQUID
Aya
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Psychos say the darnedest things!


« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2004, 05:07:07 PM »

*claps!* tis a great short story!
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"I am above good and evil. I cannot be measured, judged or assessed, poked or prodded, quantified or qualified, and I am not the sort you would want to make angry. In other words, don't tread on me."


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Kendertaunt
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« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2004, 05:24:02 PM »

FANTASTIC imagery... just fantastic.
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Ardath Rekha
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« Reply #3 on: October 18, 2004, 06:36:14 PM »

Ooooooh, this is a very cool moment!  That was a hella long time they were trapped in the skiff with the extinguishing foam... you can feel the weight of the time on Jack here.  Lovely lovely lovely!
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brigand13
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Posts: 313



« Reply #4 on: October 18, 2004, 06:56:59 PM »

WICKED!!!!  This is great story!  You've totally captured the claustic, desparate feel of what this moment must have been like.
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Kyra is WHO? Mr. Twohy, you don't know Jack!!!

"I aim to misbehave." - Mal from Serenity, premiering September 30, 2005
auspicious
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Posts: 398



« Reply #5 on: October 21, 2004, 05:11:57 AM »

thank you all Smiley  i do like this baby. i caught the idea watching KBvol2.. what if? .. panic and reactions. and i like the riddick bit Smiley

thank you chickas
xoxes
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StvnsAngel
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« Reply #6 on: January 13, 2005, 11:42:43 PM »

Oooooooh, what a lovely little fic, Aus! When I watched DF for the first time, and 2nd and 3rd, and ya get the idea, lol... that moment always did stand out for me. Being quite claustrophobic myself, I wondered how on earth they didn't suffocate in there, and to see a fic based on that moment... wonderful. Showing just what it was like for Jack! Loved it! Bravo! ::Applauds!:: Grin
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Proud member of the Nocturnal Club!

"The way I see it, life is a jelly doughnut. You don't really know what it's about until you bite into it. And then, just when you decide it's good, you drop a big glob of jelly on your best T-shirt."
auspicious
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Posts: 398



« Reply #7 on: April 07, 2007, 02:33:38 AM »

*BUMP*
eeep!! I bumped this afore I realised 'tis been archived in the fanfiction section.. *blushes* *runs and hides*
« Last Edit: April 11, 2007, 04:54:33 PM by auspicious » Logged

HERE THAR BE SQUID
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